Hello, readers, it has been awhile since I last posted in this blog. I didn't write a lot of posts this year, mainly because I lost my interest in writing and I shared my thoughts through Instagram or just people around me.
I have been a weird person who has a mission in myself. I worked for it just because I 'feel' like it is something that I have to do. But deep down in the inside of myself, I clearly know that I'm not clear if my God truly asks me to do so. I have been quite energetic, active and outspoken. But for most of the time, I felt like I wasn't myself.
I somehow think that I behave like a guy instead of a girl. Maybe I behave half and half. This doesn't make sense. Well, let me rephrase, I think I'm half emotional half serious. That's how it works in me. My personality.
Throughout this week, I read a lot of passages about God and sins, basically the fundamental studies of Christianity. I found myself extremely sinful and did a lot of wrong things. I asked for forgiveness and decided to change the old me. In the mean time, I questioned a lot about things like, attitude and personality, culture and belief, righteousness and social level. A lot of debatable topics. I asked some people about their views and some gave me ridiculous answers while some gave me rational yet unacceptable answer.
I am waiting to know more about this. It's hard to know what to do when you're assumed to do something yet you don't even know what and why you have to do so and so. I am a person who needs to know the most basic and fundamental and detailed information or truths. I don't like how people do things without understanding and reason. But I believe, Love could be the first and the most important reason for every questions.
Merry Christmas, may all of us continue grow in Christ.
Emily
25/12/2015
