I'm not sure if you guys have known that my parents actually left me 1 month ago and my life has been pretty much changed since semester 2 started. For instance, I have got to live with my 2nd sister and my twin sister. I have been so no mood to study. I'm so stressed out. I haven't been getting enough sleep everyday as I feel so tired each an every minute. I'm physically and mentally challenged. Communications with people, patience to people and unselfishness; so much to be cared about. I'm afraid of financial issueissues, diseases and people around me. I've been so lost.
Just to elaborate, I'm so scared that my money would disappear or get cheated. I don't dare to get more from my dad as I know that I shouldn't have ask for so much. I worry a lot, too much.
If you know me well, I always get sick or flu as I have allergy rhinitis and skin allergy. My body is not strong enough to fight against those dirty stuff. Even though I got sick, I didn't dare to admit to be sick because I knew I couldn't be sick, how am I going to pay for the consultant fee? Who in the world is gonna drive me to a clinic?
As I mentioned, my skin is relatively more sensitive as I got fungus on my toes when I was 10 and it took more than 3 or 4 years to recover. And I got red, itchy rashes when I was form 2, I still remember I wanted to cut all my limbs so badly. The rashes were my nightmares. And due to that, my beloved mum always tries to protect me from being in contact with things like detergent or any cleaning agents. Well, I'm doing washing up everyday. I feel so unwilling as my hands are getting rougher and rougher everytime I finished my work. I'm complaining it to my brothers in chirst but is that a problem? I truly understand that I don't love with all my heart and I don't know how, it's hard for me. It's a challenge for me.
I know this post sounds so weird and hanging. I need prayers.
28/6/2015
Emily
